You’ve gone and done it now. Somewhere along the way, you’ve allowed yourself to fall into a rut. You wake up in the morning and find that you’ve settled into a fixed, and even a little boring, routine. Not necessarily a bad place, but one you really don’t want to be stuck in for long. And until you get sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, you’ll probably stay stuck for a little while longer.
Can you blame it on menopause? Sure, you can. Your body is going through significant changes, you don’t feel like yourself, and it’s easy to lose focus.
I don’t want it to seem like I’m discounting the anxiety or depression so many of us experience on the journey through menopause. I’m just referring to the way we can sometimes and slowly turn into a person we don’t recognize. You know who she is, though. It’s that pajama-wearing, I-don’t-feel-like-getting-out-of-bed-and-having-a-life woman who’s living in your house.
Many of us have been there or are there right now. And I know this because every now and again I find myself in a rut. Sometimes they’re small ruts and I can easily get myself on the right track. Other times, I think the rut might have been carved out by a glacier during the last ice age and I need all the strength and willpower I can muster to heave myself up and over.
So where do I find the motivation? Well, in a lot of different places. It just depends on what I need at the time and it’ll probably be different for you. Every once in a while, for example, I need solitude. No noise, people or distractions. Maybe it’s in the garden, on a walk after dinner or a quiet corner at the local bookstore. It’s a place where I know I can find peace. It helps to quiet my mind so that I can focus on the issues I need to work out.
Or I throw myself into activities that I really enjoy simply for the pleasure of doing them. Yoga, reading and sewing all work for me. And the whole point in doing them is because these activities make me happy. It’s purely selfish.
Most of the time, though, I need other people to help me find my way and put things in perspective. I’ve learned to rely on my husband, family and some very close friends. Whether it’s a quick chat over coffee or a quiet dinner at home, connecting with people who care can make all the difference.
Menopause can be a challenging time in our lives. And if we’re juggling family, career, and other commitments, it’s easy to lose sight of ourselves and settle into bad habits. Find the time and make the effort to focus on you.